Society tells us it is wrong to feel pride in ourselves. That it comes off as arrogant. No wonder so many people have low self esteem. They are trained to not see the good in themselves or they are chastised when they do.
Here are 3 ways you can start loving yourself. Let's practise Self Love.
Acknowledge your successes. Even the small ones.
We are too quick to beat ourselves up on our errors, shortcomings and failures. Mental thoughts like, “You're so stupid,” or “Why do you always fail,” are so common. We say these things to ourselves with intense emotion and look for the smallest reasons to confirm these negative thoughts.
When then, was the last time we used the same passion towards our successes? Our days aren't actually filled with just failures. In fact the errors and challenges only make up a small portion of said day.
If a person were to truly look back on their day objectively, they would find that there were actually dozens of great things that happened. The reality is that we are trained to ignore these things and focus on the bad instead.
How about we start a new movement. We tell ourselves something positive every time we do something great. You might think that it's weird to talk to yourself out loud or mentally but let me tell you darling, we already do it all the time when we call ourselves stupid or when we say those negative things to ourselves.
How about when you make your bed in the morning you end it with a “Good job,” or when you make a real breakfast instead of stopping for candy you end it with a “You did good.” See how much that changes your day. This method of self love will highlight instead all the times you did something good and shut down that part that focuses on the less than 1% of your day.
Reward yourself for doing the difficult things you had to do but didn’t want to.
There are many things that we must do in the day to be able to function successfully. The thing is that we do not want to do them most times. That reluctance attaches a negative connotation to the tasks in our mind and the more negatively we think about something, the more reluctant we are about doing it.
We know that we must do these things and that negative little voice in our minds come out to tell us how horrible we are when we don't do them. At first the voice might not have effect but after a while we start to think that we are these things and it impacts our self esteem greatly.
The best way to shut that vitriolic inner monologue is to do the things you hate then reward yourself after. This changes the way you observe the task in your mind and builds instead a more positive image of this important thing. You are then more likely to do it and that inner voice does not come around to undermine your self worth.
Realize that it is okay to make mistakes and forgive yourself.
Imagine a life where everything you did was perfect. In that perfect life, you knew everything. There were no surprises that you couldn't handle and you knew all the ins and outs. On the surface, a life like that might seem attractive but lets delve beneath that surface.
The human race does not operate at it's best when everything is familiar and there are no surprises. We waste away when things stay the same. This type of place actually exists in our world. It's called the Comfort Zone. Most people think that they want that type of life but then why are so many people miserable? They live perfectly reasonable lives where they can literally navigate it on auto pilot (most people do) and yet they are miserable.
You might say that the average person might know their lives but maybe it would be different if they were rich. To that I would remind you that a lot of celebrity deaths were attributed to medication overdose. They would not need to medicate so much if their familiar, non-challenging lives were perfect
My point is that we do not thrive in a perfect world. We need challenges because they help us grow and learn and improve. That's what mistakes are.We need to start learning to remove the word mistake from our vocabulary and replace it with challenge. Who doesn't love a challenge? That person is lying or just afraid.
I personally am thankful every time I make a mistake because it means that I found an opportunity in which I can learn something new. Stop beating yourself up for little errors. They do not matter. Take them as lessons instead and learn from them.
These are just 3 Self Love practices in a line of dozens. I've focused on these because I feel like these are the areas that we do the most damage.
I'd like to hear your thoughts on this topic. Have you ever experienced these things or tried the solution?
Leave a comment down below and lets have a conversation!
See you in the next one.